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"Do You Mind if I Ask You A Question?"

Immediately after the *ahem* Harvey incident, I walked back up to the room, my mind reeling with the double whammy of wondering "what the fuck was up with that rabbit?" and "how am I going to survive if I've given up drinking?" It was in this unbalanced state of mind that I got a test example of how little privacy you can actually have in a hostel and how quickly rumors can actually spread throughout the place.

As I sat there trying to clear my head from the convergence of too much drink, too little sleep, and the deluge of weird shit going on in the past 24 hours, my Swedish roommate Ylva asked me tenatively, "Stu, can I ask you a question?" This is always without exception a bad sign and something that I normally answer "no" without hesitation.

"Ummm...sure, I guess." I was not thinking clearly.

"Did...did you shag Sarah last night in the Balmoral bathroom?" Straight, right to the point, and so casual that I almost didn't really register what she was asking. She said it like we were playing a game of Clue and she was taking a guess--Sarah, in the bathroom, with the missionary position. I was almost tempted to respond, "Nope, in the conservatory, with the weaping lotus position." (Or something like that--this is not the first time I've regretted not having studied the kama sutra more closely, and it hopefully won't be the last).

However, fearing I'd be misunderstood, I simply told the truth, "No."

And then I went back to bed. Maybe tomorrow would make more sense.


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