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Around the World in 80 Boozes

"ABROAD, adj. At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable."
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

New Addtions:

27 January, 2003
Okay, so "semi-regular" turned out to be a complete lie. I don't have much of an excuse, other than I've been busy working at a soul-sucking job, and haven't had much motivation to do anything. Hopefully, I'm in the process of pulling my head out, and there should be regular updates coming soon. I'm working on things, actually. If I don't pull my head out, this little note here will disappear and I'll deny it ever existed in the first place...consider it practice for dealing with American politicians.
14 February, 2003
To avoid having something in common with American politicians, I am actually keeping my promise (in a half-assed fashion, of course) and updating. It's mostly pictures right now, but text is coming. Right now what's been added is the skeleton of a new page. All those links with "new" after them, without a date, will go simply to a basic page with no text or pictures on it yet. Give me a little time, and I'll fix it.
20 February, 2003
Istanbul has some text on it now, as does the Streets of Belfast, and La Vie Boheme in Prague.
25 February, 2003
"Why Europe" has been answered! It's been updated with text that actually gets around to answering "Why Europe?"
5 September, 2003
Well, as it's been exactly a year since I left Edinburgh, and I haven't updated in any sort of substantial way since around that time, I figured I should write something there. I fully intend to get back to updating. That is, if anyone is still paying attention. So fire off a quick note to the_chris_stuart @ hotmail.com if you're still out there occasionally checking up this page. If not, then I might just let it die. Oh, and to send me an email, delete the spaces around the @ sign. I just put that in there so the automatic data miners wouldn't grab my email address and send spam. And, no, this is not paranoid. It'd be paranoid if I said it was put that way to confuse the Jews or the Rosicrucians.
1 February, 2004
I lie all the time, apparently.

This Europe webpage is split up into three different sections, since my year abroad was really three different sections. The first was my six months in Scotland, along with a couple weeks in London and France, mostly spent with the people I met in Scotland. The second stage was my four months in Ireland, up until I left for the third stage: two months spent traveling the length of the Continent. Click on the link to take you directly to that section.

I think I need to figure out something to introduce these vignettes, but I can't think of anything really to say. The only real goal that I had on this trip was to avoid having someone else write a story about me that includes the phrase, "An American tourist was killed when..."

Having succeeded at that, I now have the daunting task of trying to deconstruct what went on and explain it, to an audience that probably hardly even cares (if it even exists). So. All the amazing possibilities I had of places to go and things to do in Europe eventually crystalized into one solid vacation that was, after all, great. Still, it's only slightly disappointing because it wasn't everything that I wanted to do. In other words, the wave function of the possibilities of my trip collapsed into one solid state. I've nicknamed this "Schroedinger's Vacation."

But enough cheap geek jokes, on with the show. The following articles are in roughly chronological order, based on order of events, not order written:

You can check out my mate Nick's website, which is entirely pictures (with captions, of course). He has a more comprehensive collection of images than me, and they also cover most of the time I was in Edinburgh. Nick arrived at the hostel a couple weeks after me, left before I did, came back before I left, left again before I left, then came back after I left. He also has some pictures from when we both left the 'burgh and traveled around France (and, perversely, pictures from countries I've never even been in!). So his pictures mostly overlap with my experience in Edinburgh and France, while he missed some things I was around for and was there for things that I missed. His pictures are here



LOS ANGELES, USA 20 May - 22 October, 2002

  1. Before Europe: How I (Eventually) Graduated New Pics: 6 December, '02
  2. Why Europe? New text: 25 Feb, '03


EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, Room H 22 October - 29 October, 2002

  1. Arriving in Edinburgh, or: The Hookah and the Wanker
  2. What to Call Edinburgh Residents
  3. Halloween Cocktail Party
  4. International Drinking Game Rules

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, Room K 30 October - 2 Feb, 2002

  1. My First Absinthe Experience Pics added, 29 July, '02
  2. My First Absinthe Hangover
  3. Turning Point?
  4. Work
  5. Rugby and Tequila
  6. Harvey the Rabbit, or: How I Learned to Stop Drinking and Love Sobriety (Briefly) Updated: 25 July '02
  7. "Do You Mind if I Ask You A Question?"
  8. December 9th, 2001. My 48th day in Edinburgh, and the first alcohol-free night. No story, just a day that will live in infamy.
  9. A Plethora of People Pissed, Perhaps from the Post-Prandial Party Partly Planned around the "P" Unfinished, with pictures
  10. Dismount!
  11. Hogmanay, or: New Year's Eve in Edinburgh Updated: 25 July '02
  12. Ylva's Goodbye Parties, Pts. 1-3 Just pictures and captions, Updated 3 July, '02
  13. The Diaspora
  14. Interlude, with Hair Dryer
  15. Enter: The Snorer

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, Room U 2 February - 4 April, 2002

  1. Work, Pt. 2, and Highlands, Pt. 1
  2. The Occasional Bad Drunk
  3. Bad Craziness in Room U Unfinished
  4. Two Days of Muppets, Mayhem, and Madness Half written: 3 July '02
  5. Edinburgh's Plot to Torment Me
  6. The Last Week Unfinished, with pictures
  7. One Last Quiz Night, and a Flight Away From Home

Due to the availability of an Irish work visa, I decided to move from Edinburgh to Ireland to live, work, play, and drink Guinness until my teeth get stained black and I start seeing leprauchans.
I took the short route, through London, England to Perpignan, France, down to Barcelona, back up into France through Avignon, Nimes, Aix-en-Provence, and Paris. For those of you who believe there might have been shorter routes, I must point out I was educated in America, and the fact that I'm aware these countries even exist should be considered impressive. Also, my ancestors had all of North America to move around in and wound up in North Dakota. The cards were stacked against me finding my way easily.

LONDON, ENGLAND 4-10 April, 2002

  1. The British Museum Pics added, 29 July, '02
  2. From Finding Sir John Soane Marbles to Einstein's Luggage

PERPIGNAN, FRANCE 10, 14-15 April, 2002

BARCELONA, ESPANA 11-13 April, 2002

  1. Homage to Colera, AKA The Train Trip From Hell Pics added, 29 July, '02

AVIGNON, FRANCE 16-19 April, 2002

  1. Avignon Just Photos: 2 July '02
  2. Pont Du Gard Updated: 2 July '02

NIMES, FRANCE 18 April, 2002

  1. A Day In Nimes Pics added, 29 July, '02

AIX-EN-PROVENCE, FRANCE 20-22 April, 2002

  1. Aix, Trailer Trash, and Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys New picture: 22 July '02

PARIS, FRANCE 22-29 April, 2002

  1. Welcome to Paris
  2. The Musee D'Orsay and the Musee Rodin Pics added, 29 July, '02
  3. The Louvre Pics added, 29 July, '02
  4. Begging in Paris Updated: 2 July '02
  5. Protests in Paris Pics added, 29 July, '02
  6. Why I Can't Hate the French Anymore


BAILE ATHA CLIATH, EIREANN (Dublin, Ireland) 30 April - 15 May, 2002

  1. Street Violence in Dublin Pics added, 29 July, '02

CORCAIGH, EIREANN (Cork, Ireland) 15 May - 31 August 2002

  1. Birthdays in Cork and a Wallace Stevens Kind of Life New: 1 August, '02
  2. Protests (again) on the Streets of Cork
  3. The Irish on the Piss

INIS MOR, EIREANN (Inishmore, Aran Islands, Ireland) 5-6 August, 2002

  1. Experiments in Irish Vertigo New (just pics) 29 August, '02

AILLTREACHA MOTHAIR, EIREANN (The Cliffs of Moher, Ireland) 6-7 August, 2002

  1. How Not to Visit the Cliffs New pics: 28 August, '02

BRIGHTON and HOVE, ENGLAND 7-11 August, 2002

  1. Just 'Brighton' Until I Can Think Up a Snappier Name New pics: 28 August, '02

BEAL FEIRSTE and CLOCHAN AN AIFIR, NORTHERN IRELAND (Belfast and the Giant's Causeway) 31 August - 2 September, 2002

  1. The Streets of Belfast New Pics: 13 December, '02
  2. The Giant's Causeway New Pics: 13 December, '02

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND 2 September - 4 September, 2002

The Continent

KOELN, DEUTSCHLAND (Cologne, Germany) 5 September, 2002

  1. New

PRAHA, CESKA REPUBLIKA (Prague, Czech Republic) 6 September - 9 September, 2002

  1. La Vie Boheme in Prague New


  1. Kutna Hora New

WIEN, OESTERREICH (Vienna, Austria) 9 September - 12 September, 2002

  1. Vienna New

ZAGREB, HRVATSKA (Zagreb, Croatia) 12 September, 2002

  1. Zagreb New

SPLIT, HRVATSKA (Split, Croatia) 13 September - 14 September, 2002

  1. Split New

SAREJEVO, BOSNIA-HERZOGOVINIA 15 September - 17 September, 2002

  1. Bombed in Bosnia Pics: 12 December, '02

DUBROVNIK, HRVATSKA (Dubrovnik, Croatia) 17 September - 19 September, 2002

  1. From One Seiged City to Another: The Hard Life in Dubrovnik Pics: 12 December, '02

DUBROVNIK, HRVATSKA to RIJEKA, HRVATSKA 22 hours on a ferry in the Adriatic, 20 September, 2002

  1. Ferry New

VENEZIA, ITALIA (Venice) 21 September - 23 September, 2002

  1. Venice New

FIRENZE, ITALIA (Florence) 23 September - 25 September, 2002

  1. Florence New

SIENA, ITALIA 26 September, 2002

  1. Siena New

ROMA, ITALIA (Rome) 27 September - 29 September, 2002

  1. Rome New

NAPOLI, ITALIA (Naples) 30 September - 2 October, 2002

  1. Napoli New

POMPEII, ERCOLANO, and MT. VESUVIO, ITALIA 30 September - 1 October, 2002

  1. Pompeii New

BRINDISI, ITALIA to PATRAS, HELLAS 3 October - 4 October, 2002

  1. Brindisi New

ATHINAI, HELLAS (Athens, Greece) 5 - 6, 8 October, 2002

  1. Athens New

DELPHI, HELLAS 7 October - 8 October, 2002

  1. Delphi New

SANTORINI, HELLAS 8 - 12 October, 2002

  1. Cavorting around the Caldera: Sun and Sin on Santorini Updated Pics: 27 January, '03

NAXOS, HELLAS 12 - 15 October, 2002

  1. Soggy Days and Sleepless Nights on Naxos Updated Pics: 27 January, '03

EPHESUS AND SELCUK, TURKIYE 16 - 17 October, 2002

  1. Ephesus New

GOREME, CAPPADOCIA, TURKIYE 18 October - 20 October, 2002

  1. Goreme New

ISTANBUL, TURKIYE 21 - 24 October, 2002

  1. Istanbul and Constantinople New: 20 February, '03


  1. Midnight Express New

BUDAPEST, MAGYARORSZAG, (Hungary) 26 - 28 October, 2002

  1. Budapest New
  2. The Communist Statue Park New Pics: 12 December, '02

KRAKOW and AUSCHWITZ, POLSKA 29 - 30 October, 2002

  1. Krakow New
  2. Auschwitz-Birkenau New

PRAHA, CESKA REPUBLIKA. Take 2 31 October - 1 November, 2002

  1. Prague, Take Two New

AMSTERDAM, NEDERLAND 2 - 5 November, 2002

  1. Amsterdam New
  2. Felonies in the 'Dam New: 10 November, '02

TENTH LEVEL OF HELL, USA (Los Angeles, USA) 5 November, 2002 - ???

  1. New

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This page updated on 25 February, 2003. Imagine what it must feel to get that much attention.
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