Hello. I am Stu. This is not my real name, but no one ever uses real names on the Internet, so that shouldn't be much of a surprise. However, "Stu" is in fact my nickname in "real life." So we're not that far off the map, here. Anyway, this is my webpage. It's not much, since, honestly, I haven't quite figured out this HTML shit yet, which I'm trying to learn through simple notepad. So I haven't put much effort into some of the sections (Okay, most of the sections). And some of the other sections were done while I was drunk. So you may find this an interesting experience. Or find it duller than sin (and we're talking the dull sins, like usury and parsimony, not the exciting ones, like adultery and bearing-false-witness).

What I'm trying to avoid right now is the tendency for webpages to focus on one aspect of a person's life and inflate that into a monomaniacal obsession. So, on the web, perfectly normal people wind up looking like rabid Liberace fans, or insane pederasts who collects the underwear of former Mouseketeers and wears them to work everyday, deriving sick pleasure in being found out and told that he is "a bad boy; sick and twisted."

Besides, I don't even like Liberace, and I only wear Britney Spears' underwear on casual day, and then only because it is comfortable. Besides, for the amount I paid for it, I should be getting something out of it.

So.

Anyway, my point is that I am going to attempt to use this website to represent me, in all my facets. What it'll probably wind up representing is my sloth and inability to finish anything I start...but that'd represent a significant chunk of my personality in one fell swoop, anyway.

This is the nerve-center for my page. It's not much of a nerve-center...my page resembles a quadrapalegic in this regard (nothing like cheap handicap humor to start the day off), but eventually it might turn into something cool, if I can get the hang of this HTML shit. So, for now, here's the links to the actual content of my site...some of them are getting fairly well developed; most are still awaiting puberty.

• Links: A grandiose collection of links for the entire family (if your family happens to be a collection of foul-mouthed cynics, that is), a fairly useful page if you want to spend the rest of your life wallowing in film, satire, and religious intolerance...boy am I fun at parties.
• Europe: Currently, I'm an innocent (*snicker*) abroad, in Europe, and am trying to slowly document some of my experiences. This is kind of in the process of being born right now, but keep checking back and maybe it'll grow up a bit.
• Poetry: Not my poetry, thank God. But my favorite poetry. Interesting if you like poetry...not so interesting if you're a philistine.
• Quotes: At this point, this is just a rudimentary quote page. I'm in the process of turning it into something that you could actually browse through and find quotes by category that you were interested in reading (such as heading immediately to the 'Religious' quotes section, or the 'quotes about writing' section). So keep checking back. As I'm currently an expatriate without a computer of my own, I'm not exactly spending all the time working on this that I really should (since all of our time should go to the Internet, of course). Updates will be sporadic, at best.
• My Conversation With Joey: A fun filled romp through an extended conversation with the worst kind of fundamentalist: a stupid persistent one (and yes, there are intelligent fundamentalists, I heard that snickering). Read about the beast that would not die!!!. Okay, I'm going overboard with the hyperbole...but the conversation went forever, and covers a lot of ground, some of it enjoyable. It reflects where I was in my thinking three years ago. I hope I've grown some since then, and I dearly hope 'Joey' has as well; we were both so young and foolish.
• Drinking Games: In my four years as a university student, and couple months as a tenant at the Edinburgh Home for Heavy Alcoholics (officially Prince's Street Backpacker's Hostel East, Edinburgh), I've learned a couple of drinking games, and so this page comes as a result of my philanthropic desire to share the joy. So go wild. Sobriety is for the weak, anyway.
• Editorials: I started out my junior year as a simple weekly movie reviewer (which are listed in the next link). The next year I became the Arts and Entertainment Editor, surprisingly not getting fired or killed over the course of the year, even though I abused my authority to ramble on at length on a weekly basis, even being *gasp!* deliberately offensive at times. Some of what I wrote was good, some are...not so good...I think most of them are interesting...see for yourself. Also, this is where you can find the stories I wrote for The Scorch, our annual parody paper, as well as links to some reaction to those stories (negative, of course. What type of egoist posts positive reviews? But enjoyably negative, nonetheless).
• Movie Reviews: I started doing movie reviews for the Torch (the VU newspaper) my junior year, eventually becoming the A&E editor, so here's the movie reviews that I wrote during my tenure there.